1. Because I'm kind of interested in pop culture or more specifically pop culture train wrecks, I decided I had to listen to Kim Kardashian's new song, "Jam (Turn it Up)." And it is kind of as awful as you would expect it to be. Miss. Kardash is joining the established ranks of Kim Zolciak and Paris Hilton by using lots of auto tune to make a song listenable. But it is kind of catchy, the kind of tune you might work out to, and it has been stuck in my head ever since. I keep walking around the house belting out, "They Playing My Jam, They Playing My Jam, They Playing My Jam," to Sarah because Sarah is the only one in world who appreciates my singing. Although I could be interrupting her appreciation all wrong. It is possible she only pays attention to me because I sing in the same high pitched squeal that I use to ask her, "Do you want to go walkies?"
2. It is quite possible that we live in the loudest and most annoying neighborhood in the world. If it is not fighting neighbors (I'm really starting to believe me and Adam are the only happy couple in a three mile radius), or loud fiestas, we are assaulted every weekend by the loud, shrill voice of the Tamale lady. Who is the tamale lady you might ask? She is the woman who sells tamales every Saturday and Sunday at 7 A.M. in the morning. I'm not even kidding, 7 freakin A.M. Are the tamales stuffed with eggs and bacon? Because that is the only way I believe a tamale could even be appealing that early. And she doesn't even sell them on the street. No, she paces up and down our back alley yelling,"TAMALES." Making the word at least 20 syllables long. Who is going to buy tamales from a shady lady in the back alley? Not me, my friends, not me.
3. Because Adam loves me and he knows what I like, he bought me the book Helter Skelter a few weeks ago for my kindle (how romantical). I really am a big true crime buff. Usually these books don't scare me, but this one is different because the crimes were so horrific and so incredibly senseless. I can't read it when I'm alone, and I can't read it after Adam goes to bed or I start getting paranoid. You know I start thinking I hear people breaking into the house and then I wake Adam up in a panic, and he really doesn't like when I do that (he kinda likes to sleep). So to keep my marriage happy and to let Adam sleep, I always read a few pages in a different book before I go to bed to get my head in a different place. This typically works, but for the last few nights I've been having these trippy dreams that I'm going on dates with Charles Manson. And he is perfectly respectable, sweet, and romantic, but this is more disturbing to me than it would be if he was acting more Charles Manson like. I'm into psychology of course, so I have to wonder what does this say about my subconscious? I mean in high school and college, I had a tendency to have crushes on the men who didn't like the ladies but not Beatles obsessed murderers....
2. It is quite possible that we live in the loudest and most annoying neighborhood in the world. If it is not fighting neighbors (I'm really starting to believe me and Adam are the only happy couple in a three mile radius), or loud fiestas, we are assaulted every weekend by the loud, shrill voice of the Tamale lady. Who is the tamale lady you might ask? She is the woman who sells tamales every Saturday and Sunday at 7 A.M. in the morning. I'm not even kidding, 7 freakin A.M. Are the tamales stuffed with eggs and bacon? Because that is the only way I believe a tamale could even be appealing that early. And she doesn't even sell them on the street. No, she paces up and down our back alley yelling,"TAMALES." Making the word at least 20 syllables long. Who is going to buy tamales from a shady lady in the back alley? Not me, my friends, not me.
3. Because Adam loves me and he knows what I like, he bought me the book Helter Skelter a few weeks ago for my kindle (how romantical). I really am a big true crime buff. Usually these books don't scare me, but this one is different because the crimes were so horrific and so incredibly senseless. I can't read it when I'm alone, and I can't read it after Adam goes to bed or I start getting paranoid. You know I start thinking I hear people breaking into the house and then I wake Adam up in a panic, and he really doesn't like when I do that (he kinda likes to sleep). So to keep my marriage happy and to let Adam sleep, I always read a few pages in a different book before I go to bed to get my head in a different place. This typically works, but for the last few nights I've been having these trippy dreams that I'm going on dates with Charles Manson. And he is perfectly respectable, sweet, and romantic, but this is more disturbing to me than it would be if he was acting more Charles Manson like. I'm into psychology of course, so I have to wonder what does this say about my subconscious? I mean in high school and college, I had a tendency to have crushes on the men who didn't like the ladies but not Beatles obsessed murderers....
No comments:
Post a Comment
Check notify to be emailed when I reply to your comment!