Sunday, May 11, 2014

Four Month Surgiversary

I cannot believe it has already been 4 months past my surgery. Four months after years and years of wanting to have surgery. I am currently down 107 lbs. That is astonishing, I couldn't be happier. People comment on my weight loss all the time, which I love and hate all at the same time. Sometimes it makes me uncomfortable when the same people ask me over and over how much weight I've lost, I don't even know why. And yet sometimes I love when people ask!

I guess it depends on what type of mood I am in that day. 

I feel like I've begun to find a type of peace with food that I've never, ever had before. Sure, I have more self-control now, because I have a tiny tummy that keeps me out of trouble, but I am finding myself disinterested in all the foods I used to obsessed over. I also like that people have stopped tip-toeing around me when they want to eat items I can't eat. Adam used to only eat fast food if I wasn't around, and he would then try to hide it from me. Now he asks me to pick up food for him on my way home from work! 

I have also had a little bit of an epiphany. Recently, I have struggled with going out to restaurants because I eat so little, so to me, it feels like wasted money. I was talking about this with my wonderful therapist that I've seen off and on since I was 14 (fun fact, when I met her she was working at the same place I work at now). She talked about how I needed to just focus on the social aspect of going out to restaurants. She is so right! I think in the past going out to eat was all about the food and any socialization was secondary to that.

I also shared with her, that since I am still a fat girl, I feel embarrassed that I eat so little when we are eating out. I think the wait staff will judge me for being on such an extreme diet. Then it hit me, I used to be embarrassed about how much I ate, and now I'm embarrassed by how little  I'm eating.

When do I give myself a break? 

That was a turning point for me, I can't let food cause me so much anxiety anymore. That was the problem in the first place.


  1. Brittany, you look STUNNING! :) I am so proud of you. I'm glad you are feeling so wonderful - you deserve all the happiness in the world.

    <3 Ash

  2. You look so amazing B! Great job! It is funny how we never really give ourselves a break do we? I have anxiety over eating sometimes too. I know I'm small, but I eat a TON, and I often eat a lot more than my friends with bird like appetites. I've had to learn to let it go, and realize they probably don't even notice.


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