Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Merry Christmas Eve

In the wee early hours of Christmas Eve 2014, I am sitting here drinking my sugar free hot-chocolate in my favorite Minnie mouse mug,  snuggled up under a blanket, and watching the cartoon version of Anastasia on netflix (a Christmas classic, just kidding, just a classic from my childhood). Adam is asleep because he has to work tomorrow (sucker), and I finally have all the gifts wrapped and food prepped for tomorrow's dinner and Christmas celebration with my mother. One  morning dental surgeon appointment to see about getting my wisdom teeth removed stands between Christmas and me. I can't wait.

I can't help but be reflective about 2014 as it winds down. This has been one big year for me. It started with the weight loss surgery, the commitment to a healthy life style, and now weighing under 200 pounds for the first time in forever.  I completed my first ever 5k and 10k RUNNING. We celebrated our 5 year anniversary in the place it all began. We bought a house! We para-sailed. We attended a Packer's game, where they won! We finally established some new Christmas traditions with family (which to me, is probably the best part of 2014).

Although not all was good of course.  This was a whole year without my beloved grandmother. Who I swear I miss more now than I did right after she died. There is just so much about my life nowadays that I want to share with her. But I guess she already knows. 

I'm starting to look toward 2015, and I am planning what that year will look like for me. I have my half-marathon and my first ever trip to Disneyworld. I am tentatively planning a trip to Disneyland in September to do the Dumbo Double Dare (a 10k followed by a half-marathon). And who knows, by the end of the year, I might even try my hand at training for a full marathon in 2016, but we will have to see about that now won't we. 

My only goals/resolutions for 2015 are to continue with my healthy life style commitment. I also want to do project life in the "proper way," one layout for every week in the year, which I'm sure will be challenging for me. But how awesome would it be to finish the year with a complete album?  

I have also thought a lot about doing the one word challenge via Ali Edwards. The one word challenge is as it sounds, you pick one word to focus on for the year. I like the concept, and I have picked the word "imperfect."

I focus so much on doing things the right way, and when they do not go exactly as I pictured it, it causes me a lot of stress and anxiety. For example, when I was running late for the book club gathering I was hosting a few months ago, I ended up in tears with worry and felt so flustered, it almost ruined my evening. No one but me cared that I was late, it was needless worry. I just get so caught up in perfection, that I don't enjoy the moment I'm in. There are some aspects of my anxious personality I simply cannot help, but I do feel like I can improve. I just don't want perfect to be the enemy of good enough any longer.

I want to work on not freaking out when plans change or I'm not in total control of a situation. I want to stop worrying when things are not done the way I would do them. I will stop apologizing when I cook a meal and it does not turn out exactly right.  I want to be able to admit my shortcomings and ask for help when I need it. I want to embrace the messiness of life in general.

Merry Christmas Everyone. Enjoy every moment of the holiday season.

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