I may have been born a Taurus, but I should have been born a water sign because I've always loved to swim. In fact, I don't remember not knowing how to swim. As a young girl/tween/teen, I would spend all day at the pool at my grandmother's country club every summer. I loved those summers! There was sun bathing and going for dips when it got too hot. I could order whatever I wanted to eat, charge it to grandma's tab, and eat it pool side. It all felt so fancy.
And although I continued to swim throughout the years, as I became overweight, I, of course, started to feel ashamed of how I looked in a swimsuit. Especially the tortuous chore of trying of swimsuits.
This year was the first year I didn't have to go to a plus size clothing store and spend nearly 100 dollars for a swimsuit. I was able to get one off the rack at Target. It wasn't the biggest size available, and it was not in the plus size section. And I feel really good in it, dare I say cute? Losing 200 lbs will do that for you!
During our summer camp at work, we take the kids swimming every week. For the first two years of the program, I would never get in the pool with the children. I didn't want the children to say anything about my weight. Children have always had a tendency to comment on my weight, which has never bothered me! But when other adults would hear the comment, they would often start lecturing the child, which was mortifying.
This year I have gotten in the pool with the children, and they love when I do. And this last week, I even jumped off the diving board for the first time in years and years. Now that I'm not scared of people watching me, I wanted to go for it. Jumping off the diving board was exhilarating and slightly terrifying.
I did it several more times.
I spend a good deal of my summer time at our local water park, mostly floating on the lazy river for hours and hours (Summer Manifesto #5). It is so freeing to splash around without a concern about how my body looks, or what people may be thinking about me.
Last Sunday, I decided I wanted to try a slide there, known as the space bowl. A type of ride that I had ridden a few times at a water park close to where I grew up in St.Louis. So I did. I actually ended up not liking the ride, I fell down too hard and water went up my nose in the most miserable way.
But the point is I would (sadly) of never had the courage to go at all, if I wasn't at the weight I am now. I wouldn't want people watching me, I always thought I stood out (although this is probably was just self-absorption).
But I have to say that summer is great this year, and life is pretty good. Small victories are still happening everyday, even a year and a half past my surgery! What more could I ask for?
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