Month in Review: November/December 2015

Books I've Read:

1. Room by Emma Donoghue

This book was so good. I've always been fascinated by those stories of people (like Jaycee Duggard) who are held captive for years and years and their life afterwards. This was a fictional tale, told from the perspective of a 5 year old boy, who was born in captivity. It was truly riveting,  and I could not put it down. 

2. Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson 

I have been blogging for years, and while I'm aware of her super popular blog, I've never been a follower. My niece highly recommends her books though, so I picked it up. This book was absolutely hilarious! It was one of those books I  laughed out loud reading. It was touching at points too. As a fellow sufferer of social anxiety, I could relate. I can not wait to read her next book. 

3. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo

I have to say Ms. Kondo is a bit out there  in how she views her possessions. But her methods for decluttering and tidying up seem solid, and I'm planning to try them out. I hate extra stuff, Adam is a little more sentimental, so all I can focus is on my stuff and other stuff when he is not aware (wink, wink, kidding, SORTA). So I will report back on how that goes! 

4. It Ended Badly: 13 of the Worst Breakups in History by Jennifer Wright

What a fun read! This is a historical (written in a funny, conversational style) about the worst break-ups in history. I love how she frames the stories in comparisons of modern day break-ups. Oh your boyfriend ghosted you? Well, that isn't as bad as your husband telling everyone you are a ghost and refusing to acknowledge your presence, etc, etc. There are some really surprising tales here.

5. Eighty Days: Nellie Bly and Elizabeth Bislands' History Making Race Around the World by Matthew Goodman

I've been interested in learning more about Nellie Bly for a while. And the most interesting event in her life was arguably the race around the world. I love reading the stories of both women, although I found Bly insufferable at times and Bisland more relate able. It was well written, and I immensely enjoyed it. 

Movies I've Watched:

1. Spectre

Adam is a big fan of James Bond, so we have seen the last few together. And overall I enjoyed them. I really loved this movie, although Adam was on the fence about it, and I understand his criticism (which lie in the ending mainly). But it was still a fun movie, and since I've never been a die hard Bond fan, I can just enjoy it, and not over-analyze it like Adam. 

2. The Good Dinosaur

I had such high hopes for this film, as I love Pixar! But this film was pretty mediocre. Pixar really does well making movies that appeal to children and adults, however, this one felt like regular kid movie fare. Nothing really special about it. I probably had too high of expectations following my much loved Inside Out. However, the visuals in the movie were stunning!

3. Star Wars: The Force Awakens

I am in no means a Star War nuts, but I do know enough about Star Wars to follow along, and just two weeks ago watched A New Hope for the 2nd time. But I really enjoyed this film, it was FUN & FUNNY. It was heart wrenching at times, and the MAJOR spoiler got to me (but totally decimated Adam). I would see it again, it was THAT GOOD. 

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Month in Review: September/October 2015

Books I've Read:

1.The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

I was really interested when I read the plot of this book. I have always kind of been interested in the historical oddities of freak shows and circuses. The book was pretty good, but it did drag a bit in the middle for me. But it picked up again in the end. 

2. The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown

This was a book club selection. It is based on the American Crew team that won gold in the 1936 Berlin Olympics. At first, I could not get into it, in fact I almost gave up on it. But eventually something hooked me,  I was impressed by the difficultly of rowing. And I loved how the story was told by focusing on the history of one of the teammates. 

3. America, You Sexy Bitch by Michael Ian Black & Meghan Mccain

This was an interesting non-fiction book. I have always been a big fan of Meghan Mccain, and Michael Ian Black is hilarious. The whole concept of the book is a democrat and republican drive around America looking for common ground in their beliefs.

4. Rosemary: The Hidden Kennedy Daughter by Kate Clifford Larson
This was my favorite read over the last two months. It is about the daughter of the Kennedy's who was intellectually disabled and later subjected to a lobotomy by her father. I always enjoy learning about the Kennedy's, and this was truly tragic tale but an interesting read. 

5. A Private Disgrace: Lizzie Borden by Daylight by Victoria Lincoln
This book is an older book, written by a lady who grew up in the same town as Lizze Borden and knew her as a child. Although some of the information in this book is so obviously outdated (Lincoln's theory was that Lizzie killed her parents because she possibly had epilepsy, made worse by being on her period). But she still gave a good "insider" account of the murders and a good overview of the case. 

6. The Walk by  Philippe Petit
I recently saw the movie, The Walk, about Petit's real life high wire walk across the world trade center. I wanted to know the whole story. I really loved the passion he demonstrated for his high wire walk and everything that went into preparing for the walk! This read like a classic, heist tale. Such a good read. 

Movies I've Watched:

1. The Walk
I went and saw this movie with my mother a while back. I really loved it! We saw it in 3D, which really made the experience so intense. I felt like I was walking across the World Trade Center and often felt sick to my stomach! I also liked it because it felt like a love letter to the WTC, without having to bring out the heartbreak of 9-11. 

TV Show Watched:

1. Fargo
Adam and I are both really into this season of Fargo. That show is intense, funny, and intriguing. We look forward to watching it every week. Plus, Kirsten Dunst and Matt Damon are playing their roles perfectly. 

2. Below Deck
One of my favorite reality shows ever! I find the links the crew members go to meet their clients needs amazing. And some of the rich customers are so entitled! Captain Lee is definitely my favorite. This show almost makes me want to work on a yacht to earn some of those massive cash tips!

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Month in Review: August 2015

Books I've Read:

1. Rules of Civility by Amor Towles

I have mixed feelings on this book. At times, the story seemed so slow, and I did not even know what the plot really was. But then it kind of turned into a Great Gatsby tale, as told from the perspective of a female Nick Carraway. A "normal" girl living among messy and wealthy people.

2. Sin, Shame, and Secrets by David Yonkie

This is a non-fiction book recounting the murder and prosecution of a priest who murdered a nun in a sanctuary. A really tragic tale, but intriguing none-the-less. This book kept my attention until the very end.

3. The KingMaker's Daughter by Philippa Gregory

This is the 4th book in the series on the Cousins' War I've been reading. I really loved this one, the Neville Sisters led such interesting lives. And I couldn't wait to hear about the disappearances of the princes in the tower from Queen Anne's perspective.  

4. The Duchess by Amanda Foreman

I wanted to read this book after watching the movie The Duchess! I knew little about the Duchess of Devonshire before that point, but I knew she had one wild life. A lady in the 1790's, who spent most of her life living a menage a tois, had a gambling addiction, had an affair and got pregnant by another man while married, and was an ancestor of Princess Diana! Sign me up. I really enjoyed this book, especially reading the letters written by Georgiana. The political stuff dragged a little for me, although it was interesting that she was so involved in politics. 

5. In the Unlikely Event by Judy Blume 

I love the books that Judy Blume writes for adults. Her book, Summer Sisters, is one of my all-time favorites. It had been such a long time since she had released something new. I was thrilled when I found out about this book. And I was not disappointed! This is a fiction book, but it draws from Blume's real life experiences of living in a town that experienced 3 plane crashes in the span of 60 days. The way Blume tells everyone's stories is just pure artistry. I read this book in one weekend. 

Movies I've Watched:

1. Ricki and the Flash 

What a great movie. Written by Diablo Cody and starring Meryl Streep, I doubt you could go wrong. It really was a sweet family story about a woman who left her family to pursue her dream of being a rockstar, and then comes back to reconcile after her daughter gets a divorce.  I love stories like that, family stories, with heartfelt endings! 

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Month in Review: July 2015

1. Dead Mountain by Donnie Eicher

This was a history book, and the best history book I've read in a while.  I recently learned about the Dyatlov Pass Incident on a history podcast, and I became really fascinated. And when I become fascinated by something I want to learn all about it. This book details his theory of what happened, and I feel like he has good supporting evidence. The last chapter of the book is absolutely riveting and heartbreaking, as he recreates how he saw their deaths occurring. 

2.The Princes in the Tower by Alison Weir

Since I've been reading the War of Roses Series lately, and now I know all the key players, I became interested in learning more about the disappearance of the princes in the tower.  At times I got confused in the book, and at times it was a little bit of a dry read. But overall I enjoyed it. And my verdict? Richard III is totally guilty! 

3. Seen, Unseen Disneyland by Russell Flores

This was a quick little read, mostly pictures and trivia. It highlights all the small details that most people miss when walking around Disneyland. I enjoyed it, although it was nothing too surprising. But I will definitely noticed those little details when I'm in California next month!

4. Down the Rabbit Hole by Holly Madison

I devoured this book in two days. I really, really love juicy memoirs  like this. If this book is to be believed, Hugh Hefner is quite the controlling fellow and somewhat of an arse. And I do tend to believe her, but there are two sides to every story. But the book is a really fun read, and I would recommend it to anyone who is interested in the history of playboy or The Girls Next Door. Even if it is just a passing curiosity. 

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Month in Review: April 2015

Books I've Read

1. The Boston Girl by Anita Diamant

This was the book club book of the month per my suggestion. The book is about an elderly woman telling the story of her turn of the century life (in Boston) to her granddaughter.  It spans something like 90 years! It is a simple story, but such an enjoyable read. Funny at times, touching at others, just an all around good read. 

2. Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller 

Donald Miller is one of my favorite authors. I count his book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, as my second favorite book of all time. He has such a simple and elegant way of stating things that I am thinking, in a way I could never put into my own words. Painted Deserts is about a road trip he takes with a friend. And while it was no where near as good as A Million Miles, it had some really beautiful moments. And it kept me hooked to the end. 

3. The Disneyland Story by Sam Gennawey
I was so excited to read this book. I am heading out to Disneyland for a mother daughter trip in September, and I'm so psyched! This book is a comprehensive history of Disneyland, and it reads nothing like a text book. It is so  good. And I thought I knew a ton about the history of Disneyland already, but I was wrong. It rose my admiration for Walt Disney and Disneyland by a million! I'm sure I going to be obnoxious, spewing out random tidbits about her park throughout the whole vacation. 

Movies I've Watched:

1. The Duchess

I found this on netflix and decided it was time to watch it, as I remember vaguely wanting to see it a few years ago. I had listened to a podcast history on The Duchess recently, and I was eager to see it in movie form. I don't think it was highly accurate, but  it was still an excellent movie. And I really felt the hardship she had to endure during her lifetime spilled out onto the screen. 

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Month in Review: March 2015

Books I've Read:

1. The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

This was the book club selection for the month. It was an interesting read, I didn't really like the book at first because I swear there were almost no likeable characters whatsoever. The narrators were an alcoholic, mistress, and another cheater in an emotionally abusive relationship. But I really got into the mystery behind the story, the whodunit of it all. And the author did a fantastic job of making you double question everything you think you have figured out. 

2. The White Queen by Phillipa Gregory 

Phillipa Gregory has been one of my favorite authors for a very long time. Her historical fiction really kicked off my love affair with Tudor history. I was not as familiar with Elizabeth Woodville (The White Queen), so when my friend Anna said I had to read The White Queen, I did. I loved, loved, loved it. Now I can't wait to read the others in the series. 

3. The Miniaturist by Jessie Burton
This was the best read of the month. Which is a surprising pick for me, since fiction isn't my jam usually. But lately, mostly due to book club, I'm really getting into fiction. I loved this book because the writing is beautiful. I loved the mystery behind the miniaturist being a fortune teller, and I loved unraveling all the secrets in the oppressive Brandt household. This book is based in Amsterdam, which added another layer for me, since I have been to and loved Holland so much. 

Movie's I've Seen:

1. Cinderella

I was excited for this movie for quite a while. And on a Friday afternoon, after a long work week. I took myself to the movies, because sometimes you gotta take yourself because you love silly movies, and you find yourself to be the best company. It was an incredible movie, probably anti-feminist, although so is the original. But the movie was seriously beautiful, a feast for the eyes. It was worth it just for that. 

2. Theory of Everything 

This movie was the story behind Jane and Stephen Hawking's relationship. It is an interesting tale, Jane had strength that I don't know if I even possess. Of course, I hated the ending, but since it's a movie based on life, I can't really complain about that, since that is what truly happen. Wonderful movie.

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Month in Review: November 2014

Movies I've Watched:

1. Big Hero 6

This is the only movie I got out to see in theaters this month. But I didn't see it just once, I saw it twice! I loved it that much. I first went by myself, one random night after work, and I fell in love with Baymax and San Fransoyko so much that I dragged Adam and my friend, Jana, to see it again the next weekend. And I would totally go see it another time if I had someone to go see it with. 

Books I Read:

1. Winter Street by Elin Hilderbrand

This is the only book I managed to finish this month, although I'm in the middle of about a million. This was the book club selection for the month, so I made sure to finish it. The book told the stories of several family members who live and run a Bed & Breakfast in Nantucket. I really enjoyed it, although I would never pick it out for myself. But it ends on a cliffhanger and who knows when the sequel will be released!

Fun Stuff I did:

1. Lucky Duck Scavenger Hunt
2. Completed my first 10k Running!
3. Saw the Book of Mormon in Nasvhille
4. Thanksgiving in Wisconsin
5.  Packers/Patriots Game

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Three Recent Reads

1. Where'd You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple

I have had this book on my to-read list for a while. This book is just the type of fiction I love, it centers around a neurotic character (an agoraphobic mom who uses a virtual assistant in India to run even her most basic errands). Plus, it has a mystery element, so you have to figure out why and WHERE Bernadette disappeared to. The story is told through e-mails, text messages, and letters. It is an interesting approach and an utterly charming read.  

2.  Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed

This is an non-fiction book about a woman who lost her mom, became disconnected from her family, and got a divorce in a short span of time. She decided to hike the the Pacific Crest Trail, that runs from Mexico to Washington, to reboot her life. I think I love this book because it is so outside the realm of anything I would ever want to do. I admire her courage greatly. The transformation she goes through in the book, from self-destructive to empowered, is incredible to read. 

3. The Call the Midwife Trilogy by Jennifer Worth

I adore the show Call the Midwife, so of course I had to read the real stories behind the series. It was interesting to learn about Midwifery in the 1950's, and Jennifer Worth is such a great story teller. The characters she meets in the East End were so entertaining. And the stories she tells about Sister Monique Jones are a riot. FYI, in my opinion, the first book is the best.  Be forewarned, some of the stories are so heart breaking, they will make you cry.

Holidays on Ice

{Photo Source Here}

When I am reading a book, I highlight my favorite parts. These are my favorite bits from Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris:

"I often see people on the streets dressed as objects and handing out leaflets. I tend to avoid leaflets but it breaks my heart to see a grown man dressed as a taco. So, if there is a costume involved, I tend not only to accept the leaflet, but to accept it graciously, saying, “Thank you so much,” and thinking, You Poor, pathetic son of a bitch. I don’t know what you have but I hope I never catch it."

“If I could believe in myself, why not give other improbabilities the benefit of the doubt?”

"But instead I am applying for a job as an elf. Even worse than applying is the very real possibility that I will not be hired, that I couldn't even find work as an elf. That's when you know you're a failure.”

“All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints.”

“Sallie (Fannie) Mae sounds like a naive and barefoot hillbilly girl but in fact they are a ruthless and aggressive conglomeration of bullies located in a tall brick building somewhere in Kansas. I picture it to be the tallest building in that state and I have decided they hire their employees straight out of prison.”

“We were standing near the Lollipop Forest when we realized that Santa is an anagram of Satan..."

“I didn't know about the rest of the class, but when Bastille Day eventually rolled around, I planned to stay home and clean my oven.”

“Remember that the most important thing is to try and love other people as much as they love you.”

“But at the end of every show we would realize that true happiness often lies where you very least expect it. It might arrive in a form of a gentle breeze or a handful of peanuts, but when it came, we would seize it with our own brand of folksy wisdom.”

“Standing in a two-hour line makes people worry that they're not living in a democratic nation.” 

"In the role of Mary, six-year-old Shannon Burke just barely manages to pass herself off as a virgin.”
 

Give Me Goosebumps

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Adam recently brought home 38 Goosebumps books from his mom's house he had as a child. At first, I was against him bringing them home at all! He always brings back stuff we never use. I'm usually a very less is more person, Adam is not. Adam is a "more is totally awesome" person! 

Before Adam joined me in Alabama two summers ago, I occupied this apartment with next to nothing for a few weeks. I loved it, it was so spacious. So freeing. But when he got here and unloaded all the boxes from the moving van, I just about hyperventilated. I looked around and said, "I wish I could just throw all this stuff away." That comment didn't sit well with Adam at all! I could never understand why it bothered him, I would have thrown away my own stuff too! 

And don't get me started on the arguments we've had about keeping the extra measuring spoons he claims are from his golden, bachelor days (when he doesn't cook), or how I just about never got him to throw out some Cheeto stained dishcloths he got from his Grandma.

I should have known what I was in for it when I first visited Adam's family for Christmas the year we got engaged. One of his Aunts brought over a small bottle of soy sauce, she had acquired from somewhere that she didn't want. No one in his family liked soy sauce or had any use for it. But they still wouldn't get rid of it! And if they are anything like my husband, I bet it is still sitting in their cabinet today! That whole incident made me smile, so no offense to the in-laws!

 

But I relented on the Goosebumps because people tell me that marriage is of course all about compromise, and I didn't want to seem like a bossy mcbosserson in front of all the family. But also because we both loved these books as children. 

Adam loved them so much, that he knows the chronological order of them all by heart! It blows my mind. I may not know the numbers, but I remember the stories. I remember Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes, forever making those little lawn decorations somewhat creepy.  And in one, Night of the Living Dummy,  I have a vivid memory of the scene where the child puts his hand into a ventriloquist dummy, and finds a mildewed sandwich! That scene haunts me still because I'm such a visual person, and it grossed me out so much. Just thinking of it now makes me want to gag. You are welcome!

But my favorite was Night in Terror Tower. It is probably no wonder since I have a real love for English Royal History, and I am such an anglophile. The story takes place in the Tower of London and is loosely based on the twin, royal princes that went missing in the Tower of London in the 1400s.

When we were in Wisconsin, I reread the book. I think it took me an hour (ha). I was surprised to find the story held up. Reading it, it was obvious;y written for a child or tween, but the story still fascinated me, and it was still kind of creepy too. R.L. Stine knows his horror.

In the end, I'm glad we brought the Goosebumps books home. It represents such happy childhood memories for Adam and me. Nothing is more happy than nostalgia. And who knows maybe one day our children will be Goosebumps fans!

The Fault In Our Stars

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"I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.” 

"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you."

“I told myself – as I’ve told myself before – that the body shuts down when the pain gets too bad, that consciousness is temporary, that this will pass. But just like always, I didn’t slip away. I was left on the shore with the waves washing over me, unable to drown.”

“Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.” 

“You could hear the wind in the leaves, and on that wind traveled the screams of the kids on the playground in the distance, little kids figuring out how to be alive, how to navigate a world that wasn't made for them by navigating a playground that was.” 

“Some tourists think Amsterdam is a city of sin, but in truth it is a city of freedom. And in freedom, most people find sin.” 

 “Without pain, how could we know joy?' This is an old argument in the field of thinking about suffering and its stupidity and lack of sophistication could be plumbed for centuries but suffice it to say that the existence of broccoli does not, in any way, affect the taste of chocolate.” 

“Girls think they’re only allowed to wear dresses on formal occasions, but I like a woman who says, you know, I’m going over to see a boy who is having a nervous breakdown, a boy whose connection to the sense of sight itself is tenuous, and gosh dang it, I am going to wear a dress for him.” 

“And I wondered if hurdlers ever thought, you know, 'This would go faster if we just got rid of the hurdles.” 

“I believe the universe wants to be noticed. I think the universe is inprobably biased toward the consciousness, that it rewards intelligence in part because the universe enjoys its elegance being observed. And who am I, living in the middle of history, to tell the universe that it-or my observation of it-is temporary?”  

“I had a moral opposition to eating before dawn on the grounds that I was not a nineteenth-century Russian peasant fortifying myself for a day in the fields.” 

“The weird thing about houses is that they almost always look like nothing is happening inside of them, even though they contain most of our lives.

“The pleasure of remembering had been taken from me, because there was no longer anyone to remember with. It felt like losing your co-rememberer meant losing the memory itself, as if the things we'd done were less real and important than they had been hours before.” 

“There was time before organisms experienced consciousness, and there will be time after. And if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, I encourage you to ignore it.” 

“One swing set, well worn but structurally sound, seeks new home. Make memories with your kid or kids so that someday he or she or they will look into the backyard and feel the ache of sentimentality as desperately as I did this afternoon. It's all fragile and fleeting, dear reader, but with this swing set, your child(ren) will be introduced to the ups and downs of human life gently and safely, and may also learn the most important lesson of all: No matter how hard you kick, no matter how high you get, you can't go all the way around.” 

“But it is the nature of stars to cross, and never was Shakespeare more wrong than when he has Cassius note, ‘The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars / But in ourselves.' There is no shortage of fault to be found amid our stars"

Plain Truth

The Best Bits of Plain Truth by Jodi Picoult:

"In your world, people can reach each other in an instant. There's the telephone, and the fax - and on the computer you can talk to someone all the way around the world. You've got people telling their secrets on TV talk shows, and magazines that publish pictures of movie stars trying to hide their homes. All those connections, but everyone there seems so lonely.”  

“If you didn't remember something happening, was it because it never had happened? Or because you wished it hadn't?”

“The English judged a person so that they'd be justified in casting her out. The Amish judged a person so that they'd be justified in welcoming her back. Where I'm from, if someone is accused of sinning, it's not so that others can place blame. It's so that the person can make amends and move on.”  

“She wanted him to tell her that when you love someone so hard and so fierce, it was all right to do things that you knew were wrong.”  

“You can be happy for someone else's good fortune but that doesn't mean you forget your own bad luck.”  

“...I stopped trying to figure out American juries around the same time Adam Sandler movies started raking in millions at the box office--people just don't act predictably.”  

“If she spoke, she would tell him the truth: she was not okay at all, but horribly empty, now that she knew what it was like to be filled.”  

A Moveable Feast

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The best bits of A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway:

With so many trees in the city, you could see the spring coming each day until a night of warm wind would bring it suddenly in one morning. Sometimes the heavy cold rains would beat it back so that it would seem that it would never come and that you were losing a season out of your life. This was the only truly sad time in Paris because it was unnatural. You expected to be sad in the fall. Part of you died each year when the leaves fell from the trees and their branches were bare against the wind and the cold, wintry light. But you knew there would always be the spring, as you knew the river would flow again after it was frozen.

But Paris was a very old city and we were young and nothing was simple there, not even poverty, nor sudden money, nor the moonlight, nor right and wrong nor the breathing of someone who lay beside you in the moonlight.

“They seemed to like us too and treated us as though we were very good, well-mannered and promising children and I felt that they forgave us for being in love and being married - time would fix that - and when my wife invited them to tea, they accepted.”

Our pleasures, which were those of being in love, were as simple and still as mysterious and complicated as a simple mathematical formula that can mean all happiness or can mean the end of the world.

When you have two people who love each other, are happy and gay and really good work is being done by one or both of them, people are drawn to them as surely as migrating birds are drawn at night to a powerful beacon. If the two people were as experienced or as solidly constructed as the beacon there would be little damage except to the birds.

When I saw my wife again standing by the tracks as the train came in by the piled logs at the station, I wished I had died before I ever loved anyone but her.

Nobody climbs on skis now and almost everybody breaks their legs but maybe it is easier in the end to break your legs than to break your heart although they say that everything breaks now and that sometimes, afterwards, many are stronger at the broken places. I do not know about that now but this is how Paris was in the early days when we were very poor and very happy.

“Never go on trips with anyone you do not love.”

“If you are lucky enough to have lived in Paris as a young man, then wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Paris is a moveable feast.”

The Geography of Bliss: One Grump's Search for The Happiest Places in the World

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The best bits from The Geography of Bliss: One Grump's Search for The Happiest Places in the World. by Eric Weiner

Money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important. So are friends. Envy is toxic. So is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude.

Some places are like family. They annoy us to no end, especially during the holidays, but we keep coming back for more because we know, deep in our hearts, that our destinies are intertwined.

When an Aztec child was born, a priest would say, “You are born into a world of suffering; suffer then and hold your peace.” There is something noble in that attitude, that quiet suffering. True, Aztec civilization died out centuries ago, leaving only a few ruins now trampled on by sunburned American tourists. But never mind. At least they had the decency not to whine about their demise. You have to respect that in a dying civilization.

Happiness and unhappiness are not opposites, as we often think. They are not two sides of the same coin. They are different coins. It is possible, in other words, for a happy person to also suffer from bouts of unhappiness, and for unhappy people to experience great moments of joy.

In the past, the sun has always been there for me, the one celestial body I could count on. Unlike Pluto, which for decades led me to believe it was an actual planet when the whole time it was really only a dwarf planet.

Things are not as they seem. We humans do not know a damn thing. About anything. A scary thought but also, in a way, a liberating one. Our highs, our accomplishments, are not real. But neither are our setbacks, our mushkala. They are not real either.

Our families are our greatest source of love and support. They are also the ones who are, statistically, most likely to kill us. As Yi-Fu Tuan points out, “We cinch both our enemies and lovers.” And so it is with families. They are our salvation and our ruin.

In transit. If two sweeter words exist in the English language, I have yet to hear them. Suspended between coming and going, neither here nor there, my mind slows, and, amid the duty-free shops and PA announcements, I achieve something approaching calm. I’ve often fantasized about living in Airport World. Not one airport, mind you, like the Tom Hanks character in that movie, but a series of airports. I would just keep flying around the world, in a state of suspended aviation. Always coming, never arriving.

Travel, at its best, transforms us in ways that aren’t always apparent until we’re back home.

In Bhutan, the roads don’t subdue nature but are subdued by it, bend to its whims, curving and snaking around the mountains in a series of endless switchbacks. I find this meditative. For about ten minutes. Then, I find it nauseating. Now I know how a pair of socks feels on tumble dry. No wonder they abscond.

The last time I saw such arrogance from an animal was in India, where the cow, smug in her holiness, has developed a serious attitude problem.

What Remains

The Best Bits of What Remains from Carole Radziwill, which is a memoir of her marriage with a man who died of cancer and the death of her friends, JFK Jr and Carolyn Bessette.

The thing is, one of us is sick and the other sits by the bed, and some days it seems that’s all we know. There was a hint of what we might have had when we first met, but it was overshadowed. We might have been the sort of couple who gave dinner parties. There might have been children, or maybe a dog. We were both headstrong and stubborn, so we might have fought a lot, or we might have been people other couples make fun of, sappy and giggly and always holding hands. But cancer showed up like an unplanned pregnancy and completely defined who we were together.

The night was ordinary. It usually is, I think, when your life changes. Most people aren’t doing anything special when the carefully placed pieces of their life break apart.

But when it doesn’t feel like you’re turning, it feels wrong to correct it. He wouldn’t have corrected it enough. He wouldn’t have corrected it at all. He would have followed what his senses were telling him to do—an overwhelming feeling of what he should do—and it would be exactly the wrong thing.

We never seem to fight about interesting things—always passionately about the trivial: our different manner of cutting tomatoes, driving techniques, the high frequency with which I wash clothes and how much detergent is appropriate to use.

The dandelion is a gawky yellow flower that blooms and then collapses into a soft, clumsy one that little children blow wishes on. There was a sea of dandelions in our back yard on Madison Hill, and Grandma Binder, swinging her scythe, would mount a futile attack on them in her housedress and apron. They grew into a clotted forest of long, milky necks in the backyard, and the best she could hope for was just to cut them down to stubs. It starts with one slouchy weed—pluck it out and it’s gone. You never quite remember, can’t pinpoint the time between when there was one weed and a sea of them. There was a time when the thing seemed manageable, and then we were looking backward over our shoulders, running away from it. You never stop thinking you might have beaten it somehow, and there were moments when we thought we had. Your husband can be dead years, and you can’t stop thinking how you might have beaten it. Or how they could have left ten minutes earlier, or the next morning. Or that damn lighthouse could have flickered through the fog.

It steals in the moment we feel invincible. It depended on our denial, our disbelief. Cancer is nothing if not discreet. Look at me, it whispers. I dare you, say my name on this sunny day with your future spread wide.

Nothing is ever as it seems. We hide our reality from the outside world and from each other. We float along on process, Anthony and I—What will we have for dinner, did you call your mother, what time do you think you’ll be home? Phone calls and kisses and thank-you notes. You can lose a whole life on that. 

My Favorite Things

Just a few things I'm enjoying right now:

1. PJ Pants
I got these pink fleece pj pants with the little Scottish dogs a few days ago, and they are soooooooooooo comfy. There are few things I love more in life than pjs. When I'm at home, whether it's daytime or nighttime I'm going to to in my pjs. So I'm constantly buying new ones but I think these are going to be a favorite. They are so warm!

2. My Life in Wax
Recently, I finished the book Madame Tussaud: A Novel of the French Revolution by Michelle Moran. It is a historical fiction book about the life of Madame Tussaud (yes, that is the name of those famous wax museums) and her involvement in the French revolution. Although I've never been overly interested in the French Revolution, Madame Tussaud's life was fascinating! I mean she was a wax tutor to the King's Sister, was forced to make death masks for famous revolution victims, a prisoner of war, and one of the first women ever to force her husband to sign a pre-nup. So I had to pick up a Life of Wax to read an historically accurate account of this interesting woman.

3. Scentsy!
I've been hearing about scentsy for years now, but I didn't know quite what it was. Recently, my mom ordered me some supplies from a scentsy party and I got addicted! I'm so obsessed with these wickless/flameless candles. The scents are so strong and smell so good (my faves are coconut lemongrass & my dear watson). I love turning on my warmer after I get home from work, it helps me relax. And I love how easy it is to change the scents. I have about 10 scents right now and I am getting more (just don't tell the consultants that I get mine off amazon).

4. My Custom Iphone Case
I finally was able to upgrade my phone to the iphone 4, and thank goodness because my other one was really just on its last legs. I knew I wanted a really great case for my new phone because I left my last iphone out of the case, and I dropped it and the glass shattered. And I had to deal with the broken screen for over a year. So I decided I wanted an otter box this time,  and I found a site where you can design a custom one! And this is the one I designed. How cute, right?

Quotables

Some of my Favorite Quotes from Books I've Read on my Kindle:

Insatiable: Tales from a Life of Delicious Excess (Gael Greene)
(Written about Julia Child)
Behind her, Paul Child caught it mid-topple and set it straight. What a team, I thought. Not only did they adore each other, but Paul was always there, seemingly content to swim in her wake, picking up whatever she might bowl over in her exuberant passage through life.

Dirty Sexy Politics (Meghan Mccain)
We learn some of the most important things in life by our failures and mistakes. If we never had things that we were sorry we’d done, or sorry we’d said, we would never be forced to take a hard look at ourselves—and make changes for the better.

It's All Relative: Two Families, Three Dogs, 34 Holidays, and 50 Boxes of Wine (A Memoir) (Wade Rouse)
That holidays were not—and did not have to be—perfect in order to be beautiful. It made me realize that all families are dysfunctional, especially during the holidays, and that while most celebrations are well-intended, they are also usually diarrhea-inducing.

It's All Relative: Two Families, Three Dogs, 34 Holidays, and 50 Boxes of Wine (A Memoir) (Wade Rouse)
There were even career Barbies, brainy Barbies who—for some reason—did not find it fulfilling enough to live off their beauty alone; no, they had to attend med school and become surgeons and pet doctors, a notion that unnerved me greatly.

Chocolate & Vicodin (Jennette Fulda)
People wanted there to be a narrative with a tidy ending so all the loose ends could be wrapped up. When Native Americans looked at the stars, they made up tales about how those dots of lights were first lit and where the world came from. A turtle might not actually be holding up the Earth, but it made for a good story. It gave meaning where there was none.

Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality (Donald Miller)
Love, for example, is a true  emotion, but it is not rational. What I mean is, people actually  feel it. I have been in love, plenty of people have been in love,  yet love cannot be proved scientifically. Neither can beauty.  Light cannot be proved scientifically, and yet we all believe in  light and by light see all things. There are plenty of things that  are true that don't make any sense.

It Chooses You (Miranda July)
I kept the house because the rent is cheap and I write there; it’s become my office. And the great northern beans, the cinnamon, and the rice keep the light on for me,  should anything go horribly wrong, or should I come to my senses and reclaim my position as the most alone person who ever existed.

At Least in the City Someone Would Hear Me Scream: Misadventures in Search of the Simple Life (Wade Rouse)
Don’t you have something to say to the Lord?” And I did. I wanted to ask Him how He could be cruel enough to take my brother and leave me alone in rural America. I wanted to ask Him why I liked boys, no matter how many Farrah Fawcett or Raquel Welch posters I hung in my room. I wanted to ask him when it would be OK to stop hating myself. I wanted to ask God how many blows I was going to take and if my faith was supposed to be shaken and rocked at such an early age in order for me to fully grasp what faith is all about.

At Least in the City Someone Would Hear Me Scream: Misadventures in Search of the Simple Life (Wade Rouse)
I have read the Bible. I have studied the Bible. But we all fall short, every day, in one way or another. Our goal is to try to make the right decisions, to be good people. When all is said and done, I believe our final spiritual test will be akin to Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?: Each of us, one-on-one, with God, trying to answer some hard-ass questions. And all without a phone-a-friend or fifty-fifty.

Father Fiction (Donald L. Miller)
Self-assurance is beautiful. A choosy girl is beautiful. Intelligence is beautiful. A girl who isn’t begging to be loved is beautiful. A woman who loves God is beautiful. A woman who does not manipulate men with her appearance is beautiful.

The Next Best Thing (Jennifer Weiner)
In Florida, where the Golden Girls lived, the weather was always warm and the skies were always sunny, and no crisis could not be managed in twenty-two minutes plus two commercial breaks. In that happy land, not everyone was beautiful, or young, or perfect. Not everyone had romantic love. But everyone had friends, a family they’d  chosen. It was that love that sustained them, and that love, I imagined, could sustain me, too.

Then Came You (Jennifer Weiner)
I lived my life like a meal that had been set in front of me, never asking if there were other choices or even if I was hungry.

Then Came You (Jennifer Weiner)
The thing about bad decisions is that they don’t feel like bad decisions when you’re making them. They feel like the obvious choice, the of-course-that-makes-sense move. They feel, somehow, inevitable.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life (Donald Miller)
The Voice I am talking about is a deep water of calming wisdom that says, Hold your tongue; don’t talk about that person that way; forgive the friend you haven’t talked to; don’t look at that woman as a possession; I want to show you the sunset; look and see how short life is and how your troubles are not worth worrying about; buy that bottle of wine and call your friend and see if he can get together, because, remember, he was supposed to have that conversation with his daughter, and you
should ask him about it.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life (Donald Miller)
They come out of college wanting to change the world, wanting to get married, wanting to have kids and change the way people buy office supplies. But they get into the middle and discover it was harder than they thought. They can’t see the distant shore anymore, and they wonder if their paddling is moving them forward. None of the trees behind them are getting smaller and none of the trees ahead are getting bigger. They take it out on their spouses, and they go looking for an easier story.

Water for Elephants  (Sara Gruen)
But then in your thirties something strange starts to happen. It’s a mere hiccup at first, an instant of hesitation. How old are you? Oh, I’m—you start confidently, but then you stop. You were going to say thirty-three, but you’re not. You’re thirty-five. And then you’re bothered, because you wonder if this is the beginning of the end. It is, of course, but it’s decades before you admit it.

The Paris Wife: A Novel (Paula McLain)
There was only today to throw yourself into without thinking about tomorrow, let alone forever. To keep you from thinking, there was liquor, an ocean’s worth at least, all the usual vices and plenty of rope to hang yourself with. But some of us, a very few in the end, bet on marriage against the odds. And though I didn’t feel holy, exactly, I did feel that what we had was rare and true—and that we were safe in the marriage we had built and were building every day.

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake: A Novel (Aimee Bender)
It was like we were exchanging codes, on how to be a father and a daughter, like we’d read about it in a manual, translated from another language, and were doing our best with what we could understand.

A Grown-Up Kind of Pretty: A Novel (Joshilyn Jackson)
Now, I try not to be overly superstitious; I like black cats about as much as I like any other color cat, and I’ll go straight under any number of ladders if you put the right kind of pie on the other side.

Fifth Avenue, 5 A.M.: Audrey Hepburn, Breakfast at Tiffany's, and The Dawn of the Modern Woman (Sam Wasson)
There are those who believe they are truly loved when they truly aren’t, and others who suspect that despite sincere reassurance to the contrary, no one really loves them at all.

Three Recent Reads

1. Fairy Tale Interrupted By Rosemarie Terenzio
I was really thrown off by the title of this book when I first came across it.  I had no clue what it was about. I thought maybe it was a fictional love story.  But then I read the bio, and found it was written by the personal assistant and friend of JFK Jr and his wife Carolyn, and covered the five years before their tragic deaths in a plane crash. This book is not scandalous at all, nothing in it could become tabloid fodder, and it does not read like a book from someone who is trying to cash in on their relationship with a celebrity. This is just a story of what it was like to be best friends and an employee of a man and wife who just happened to be American Royalty. I loved reading about the stress that went into planning their secret Georgia wedding, and I cried when she wrote about finding out she had lost her two best friends in a plane crash. Plus, I'm kind of obsessed with the cover photo of JFK Jr, Carolyn, and their dog Friday. Beautiful just beautiful. 

 2. A Grown-Up Kind of Pretty by Joshilyn Jackson
I have read several books by Joshilyn Jackson, and because I love her style oh so much, I pre-ordered this book months before it came out. Which was a really bad idea, because amazon does not charge you for a pre-order until a book actually is available. And since I have the memory span of a fly,  and our bank account occasionally gets as low as 10 cents, I am really lucky this book did not bounce our bank account when it released. This book is a mystery about a household of women who find the bones of a baby buried under a tree in their yard. I realize that sounds incredibly morbid, but it is not really that morbid I promise! What I love most about this book is it is not just a mystery, it really dives deep into the thoughts and the lives of the three, Southern, women characters involved (the author even writes some from the perspective of a stroke victim).  It is just a really touching novel and a interesting mystery that is not answered to the very end. 

3. A Tree Grows Brooklyn by Betty Smith
 A Tree Grows in Brooklyn is of course, a classic. Although I had heard of this book, and I had seen it sitting on my mother's bookshelf, I had no clue what it was about. A few weeks ago, I was browsing audio books on iTunes, so I could find something to listen to on my way to work, to keep L.A. traffic from stealing my soul. Not only did it keep traffic from stealing my soul, it kept me entertained too! I fell in love with the detailed descriptions of Brooklyn life in the 1910's, and I related to Francey Nolan's conflicting feelings of love & shame toward her father. In a way, I think I would have liked to have been Francey Nolan. This book is just the perfect mixture of sadness and hopefulness.  

Song of the Day: Breakfast at Tiffany's by Deep Blue Something

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

The best bits from one of my favorite books A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Own Life by Donald Miller.

On Heaven:
I thought about heaven, about how if we were shooting a movie about heaven, at the airport, we would want to shoot it there, and how in the movie, people would be arriving from earth and from other planets, and when the angels picked us up, they’d put us in their cars and drive a million miles for a thousand years, and it would be miserable until you got to where you were supposed to stay, where you would see your family and the girlfriend you had in the second grade, the girl you always believed was the only one who really loved you.

On Expectations:
When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are. And when you stop expecting material possessions to complete you, you’d be surprised at how much pleasure you get in material possessions. And when you stop expecting God to end all your troubles, you’d be surprised how much you like spending time with God.

On Significant Others:
She said she and her husband believed they were a cherished prize for each other, and they would probably drive any other people mad. But then she said something I thought was wise. She said she had married a guy, and he was just a guy. He wasn’t going to make all her problems go away, because he was just a guy. And that freed her to really love him as a guy, not as an ultimate problem solver. And because her husband believed she was just a girl, he was free to really love her too. Neither needed the other to make everything okay. They were simply content to have good company through life’s conflicts. I thought that was beautiful.

On Suffering:
He (meaning God) said to me I was a tree in a story about a forest, and that it was arrogant of me to believe any differently. And he told me the story of the forest is better than the story of the tree.

Song of the Day: Blue Skies by Noah and the Whale

Three Awesome Books

1. The Happiness Project By Gretchen Rubin

The book was written by a woman who felt she was pretty happy, but wasn't reaching her full potential. So for a year she embarked on what she called The Happiness Project. Each month she concentrated on one area of her life at a time: Energy, Marriage, Parenthood, Friendship, Money, ETC. She adopted simple resolutions and habits to up her happiness. It's a wonderful books and has many little tips and ideas that I felt I can adopt into my own life. Heck, I could always be happier! My favorite thought from her book? Failure Can Be Fun!

2. Bed Pans & Bobby Socks By Barbara Fox & Gwenda Gofton
I was so excited about this book that I pre-ordered it and counted down the days till it was gloriously and electronically delivered to my beloved kindle. The story is about five British nurses in the 50s, who came to the states for three years to work, and to take a great American road trip. They did, and they DROVE everywhere, even to Alaska and Hawaii (OK they didn't DRIVE to Hawaii, but they did Alaska). Their stories are so incredibly charming, and the nurses caused a stir where ever they went.  I love love love this book. Read it now. You won't regret it.

3. My Life in France by Julia Child

I first really became interested in Julia Child after seeing the movie Julie/Juila (of course). She sort of became one of my obsessions, as people and things do when I like them, and I wanted to learn more about her. So I picked up her book and I devoured it in two days. The way she writes, you feel like YOU are the one in France and in culinary school. I found myself memorized by her descriptions of cooking, Paris, and her relationship with her husband Paul. I want Adam and me to be like Julia and Paul when we are older.

Song of The Day:  The Calculation by Regina Spektor